I’ve been fascinated, concerned, energized and '“productively obsessed” with the impact of dating culture for over a decade - not by simply observing from an academic distance but actually getting into the weeds and trying to make it more human which included a stint working at Match.com and the wild ride that was being The Director of Workplace Connection at WeWork.
My interest in dating culture started back in 2009. It was before Tinder but the change in people and the nature of relationships was already evident as more and more people were turning to their devices for their relationship search.
I started mapping the relationship trajectories of people who met offline in organic settings, vs. people who met online. The timeline, sequence and connective moments were very different. This didn’t mean that online relationships were wrong or that dating apps shouldn’t exist. It just meant there were entire categories of “relationship beginnings” that were slowly being wiped out - like endangered species. Kind of like a what we’re seeing with Climate Change but this was “Dating Climate Change”.
I wanted to do more than be any kind of dating coach - I wanted to help protect and evolve the classic ways of meeting and connecting with people in whatever ways I could. Through listening, experimenting, and constant iteration, I've explored the possibilities of reimagining dating culture from multiple angles.
Join me on "The Later Dater Today" as we explore the transformative potential of dating later in life. Together, we'll rethink and rewrite the rules and redefine the way we engage with one another.
You're not late; you're right on time.
Lakshmi Rengarajan
lakshmi@thelaterdatertoday.com
About Lakshmi:
Hey there. I’m Lakshmi
(Luck-shmee)
Creator of The Later Dater Today
About The Later Dater Today:
The Later Dater window is not just a fascinating and important window in the dating timeline, it might hold the keys to reimagining dating for everyone. Later Daters were forged in the time between rotary phones and smart phones; between having to walk for a channel change and never having to walk to get anything.
My road to The Later Dater Today…
Bartender
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What should we know about the services you provide? Better descriptions result in more sales.
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I’ve bartended across 4 different decades, from dive bars to wine and cocktail bars…My career as a bartender has not only shaped my personality and approach, it’s given me a front seat to the broader changes in how we interact and connect. When I started bartending in the 90s, drinks and cocktails were important but conversation was EVERYTHING. A strong bartender made good drinks but made GREAT conversation. I learned this from my bartending mentors Scott Mitchell and Maureen Broom. Tending to the bar was about way more than drinks, it was about reading the energy of the bar as a whole and acting as a connective element between everything - not just drinks. I learned more in 3.5 years at Pete Miller’s in Evanston, IL than any degree I’ve earned.
Brand Strategy & Reimagining Events
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2009-2014
As a Brand Strategist my job was to go layers below the surface. Add to this, I was surrounded by the smartest, most curious people in my life. It didn’t matter if we were working on dog food or Jell-O. Everyone at FCB Chicago brought life, fervor and rigor to everything. It was there that my interest in the burgeoning world of modern dating formed. It was in this period that I not only developed my initial societal insights like “It’s Easy To Meet But Harder To Connect,” but I alsostarted mapping the changing timelines of romantic relationships as the starting point shifted from contextual in-person beginnings to online dating. It was here that I started designing singles events including the concept that became Me So Far. My co-workers and managers rallied around me, helping me with every imaginable facet of event productions. It was a moment in time. I hope everyone has the experience of their co-workers rallying around a person and an idea, like I had at FCB Chicago.
There are too many to call out here but I have to thank Joe Carpita, Stephanie Kelly, Cody Raduha and Terin Izil in particular. And agency President Michael Fassnacht for seeing my passion and commitment and working with me to ensure that I could both keep my job (and health benefits!) while building out and studying, experimenting and testing the art of in-person events for single folks.
The Dating Industry
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What should we know about the services you provide? Better descriptions result in more sales.
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I was hired based on the one of a kind field work I was doing in dating events.
I met some nice people with whom I am still in touch. In fact, one is on my team now!
Me So Far
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What should we know about the services you provide? Better descriptions result in more sales.
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The Me So Far format helped people get beyond their profiles. The end of every event felt like we had just cleaned the dating pool. Click the red logo above to watch the video to get a sense of what it was like. This experience solidified my expertise as a out of the box, singles event designer.
The Dark Period
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During this time I went back to bartending. But I also started working in Talent and Culture at an artisan home decor company in Dallas. I loved it. I felt like myself again and I could see just how important internal office culture could benefit from what I had learned in dating.
WeWork & Workplace Connection
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In 2015 I was in the audience at the 99U Conference. Someone asked a question about how to keep remote teams connected. I raised my hand and offered some of the things I was doing and mentioned that I had developed these tactics based on what I knew about long distance relationships because that’s essentially the relationship configuration that remote teams are grappling with. People laughed but they also listened. Adam Day, then an executive at Nike, heard me, thought what I was saying was interesting and thought my work had massive implications for relationships at work. I agreed.
In 2018, now a VP at WeWork, Adam invited me to present my findings and ideas on the connection between modern dating challenges and modern work relationships. I just thought it would be a fun, free trip to NYC. But WeWork co-founder Miguel McKelvey was in attendance that day and hired me on the spot. I became WeWork’s first (and a first of its kind role) Director of Workplace Connection. My job was to get in the weeds, understand, and provide grassroots solutions to the connection challenges of today. I know there’s been a lot about WeWork in the news but I will say that as bonkers as it was at times, I have never felt more in my element or energized by the people around me than when I was there. Even people I vehemently disagreed with wanted to make work the best place for people to explore their potential. The work we did was WAY ahead of its time and was working to address the slow and sudden separation many of us are feeling.
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I’ve bartended across 4 different decades From dive bars to wine and cocktail bars…My career as a bartender has not only shaped my personality and approach it’s given me a front seat to the broader changes in how we interact and connect. When I started bartending in the 90s, drinks and cocktails were important but conversation was EVERYTHING. A strong bartender made good drinks but made GREAT conversation. I learned this from my bartending mentors Scott Mitchell and Maureen Broom. Tending to the bar was about way more than drinks, it was about reading the energy of the bar as a whole and acting as a connective element between everything - not just drinks. I learned more in 3.5 years at Pete Miller’s in Evanston, IL than any degree I’ve earned. Ask me why I think Irish pubs are so
Paired By The People
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Land Of The Giants: Dating Games
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What should we know about the services you provide? Better descriptions result in more sales.
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I was honored to co-host Vox Media’s award-winning business and culture podcast alongside Sangeeta Singh-Kurtz from New York Magazine. The series looked at the rise of dating apps, and their minimal scrutiny in society. This was possible because of an incredible team of producers from Vox Media Including Nishat Kurwa, Megan Cunnane, Oluwakemi Aladesuyi, Zack Mack and Jolie Meyers.
The Later Dater Today Podcast
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This group is very overlooked.